So there are these two bees and one bee asks the other, "Where can I get something to eat around here?" The second bee replies, "Well, there is a Bar Mitzvah going on down the street, about half a mile, should be plenty of flowers and pastries to eat." The first bee thanks him and heads off to the party. A little while later, the first bee returns, with a bloated belly and a yarmulke on his head. He tells the second bee, "I found it, it was awesome! So many fresh flowers, so many sweet pastries!" The second bee asks him, "So what's with the yarmulke? Did you convert?" The first bee replies, "I wore it so they wouldn't think I was a wasp."
Why did Nutmeg cross the road? Because he had no frontal lobes. Ahaha ha haha ahaaaaa... (The frontal lobes are involved in motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgement, impulse control) no no really? Why did Nutmeg cross the road? To prove he was not a chicken..(groan..)
This fat kid was walking home from school one day as I was driving past, I stopped and asked "Yo Joey, youse wanna lift?" He said, "yea". I said "Get a bra." and drove off.
Dear Nutmeg, What should you do with someone you have found unconscious in the water? ---redcross101 Dear 101, Not quite sure but it is one of these. 1. Lay them on their backs and give them artificial insemination. 2. Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.
A bible thumping religious man decides to go for a hike one day. as he is walking through the woods he stumples upon a family of grizzly bears. a father bear, a mother bear, and a cub. Emmediately the bears began to growl at him. The man begins to freak out and takes off running. The bears give chase. The man runs as fast as he can, but he can feel the bears getting closer and closer to him. The growls are getting louder and louder and he can feel the bears hot breath behind him... suddenly, he trips on a twig and falls to the gound and covers his head. The bears surround him, growling loudly with drool falling from their mouths..... they are about to tear the man apart when the man cries out......"Lord, please turn these savage beasts into Christians!!!" Suddenly there was complete silence. the man slowly begins to look up.... and the 3 bears are sitting around him in a circle... their heads bowing down and their paws placed together as if praying. And then the father then speaks..."Lord, we thank you for this meal we are about to receive."
I figure I have a fair chance to outrun any griz that chases me: I'll be running on dry ground, but the bear will be running through shit.
Case Study: The Grizzly Bear Interesting case I studied back in Business School: Two friends were hiking a quiet afternoon and suddenly spotted a ginormous grizzly bear barreling down the hill straight at them. Instinctively they both turned and ran as fast as they could. A few seconds later, one of them stopped to tie his shoelaces. The other one looked at the bear approaching rapidly and screamed in terror: "What are you doing? You cannot outrun a bear!" To which the first guy aswered calmly: "I'm not trying to outrun the bear; I'm going to outrun you!!" PS. The spirit of competition, right?
My wife and I were grouse hunting in pennsylvania. I just had had knee surgery and my brittany stood a bear down in a hole and I thought it was a porcapine at first. The bear suddenly came out of the hole and the bear, my wife and I all scattered in three directions. To make a long story short, my wife told me the same thing after it was over. Never will forget that day.