I emailed my movie requests on line to the library, not available in stores. The Adventures of Prudo Snatch Bottlestar Lactactica 2010: Debbie Does Dialysis Queen of the Dental Dammed Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Tim Hung Wankenstein Men in Back Muffy The Vampire Layer Erectnophobia Flesh Gordon Ghost Lusters Honey, I Blew Everybody IR4: Inrearendence Day Interview with a Vibrator Joannie Pneumatic Planet of the Babes
Note: I Nutmeg, am a reader offering these jokes on a subject that interests me (which is jokes) I did not write these jokes, I think they are wrong and insulting. Only by making people aware of what is being said can we take the first steps to eliminate abuse by not laughing. This post and jokes are not mine and are not edited. I am irresponsible. I am half black and half Mexican. That made me extremely unemployed. Everyone's afraid I will cut their grass and steal their lawnmower. C'mon, I'm too lazy to steal.
The teacher asked the class to use the word \'fascinate\' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, \'My family went to my granddad\'s farm, and we saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.\' The teacher said,\'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.\' Sally raised her hand. She said \'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.\' The teacher replied \'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate.\' Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.. She finally decided that there was no way he could damage the word fascinate, so she called on him. Little Johnny said \'My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight. The teacher sat down and cried.
THIS ONE IS HILLARIOUS- IF YOU UNDERSTAND IT.. A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. \"Not yet,\" said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast till the chores are done. Well, he\'s a little pi**ed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast, and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. \"How come I don\'t get any eggs and bacon? Why don\'t I have any milk in my cereal?\" he asks. Well,\" his mother says, \"I saw you kick a chicken, so you don\'t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don\'t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren\'t getting any milk.\" Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother and with a smile says: \"Are you going to tell him, or should I?\"
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.. She finally decided that there was no way he could damage the word dictate, so she called on him. Little Johnny said "My mommy says my Daddy's dictate good" The teacher sat down and cried.
At the church's marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi about his upcoming 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I've tried to treat her well, spend money on her, but, the best is that I took her to Italy for our 20th anniversary! The Priest immediately commented, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell the congregation what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary..." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm gonna go and get her.
Kick the cat> Reminded me of my 6th grade teacher. She said "Hello, My name is Ms Prussy" "That is pussy with an "R" in it. Everybody called her Ms Crunt.
I'm watching the subprime stuff go from "no problem " to "uh oh" and it reminded me of two old ones. No, not Madonna's knockers - jokes. Jokes. How does Pinocchio make love? The woman sit on his face, and he tells lies. couples 75th wedding anniversary. They're talking about how good they've had it, how they have no regrets. The husband says, " I do have one favor to ask. The hope chest you kept at the foot of the bed. You've always had it locked. What is in it?" "I'd rather not tell you." she says. Finally, after much haggling, she gives him the key. In the chest is some 4,000 dollars in cash, and three ears of very old corn. "I don't understand", he says. "What is this?" Reluctantly, his wife explains that everytime she cheated on him, she put an ear of corn in the chest. The husband was initially crestfallen, but.... "well, all these years, three ears of corn. I guess that's not so bad. I forgive you my dear............ but what is the cash for?" "Oh, that. Everytime I got a bushel, I sold it."
Two men are in a hot-air balloon. They drift into a dense cloud bank and are stuck there for hours. Finally as they emerge they look around at the ground below in hopes of figuring out their location. They see a man in a garden and shout down to him. "Hello down there! Can you tell us where we are?" "The man below replies, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The first man looks at his partner and comments, "Just our luck, a psychologist." he partner asks, "Why do you say he's a psychologist?" the first man answers, "Well, what he said was obviously true, but it didn't help at all."
Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages. Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too. Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them.