While attempting to create the world's largest peace sign, festival-goers in Ithaca, NY, created the world's largest Mercedes sign by mistake. -------------------- LOL. All I can say is "Dude, would you like fries with that peace sign"? This younger generation act like they discovered Pink Floyd or the Doors, I'm not suprised they'd fuck up a peace sign. Guess they should have tuned in, turned on and drop one out on dear old dad on how to make a peace sign.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man! ------------------------- How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags. ------------------- Why did the hippie cross the road? There was no jobs there.
Where's your head, man. Never, EVER, bury a classic like this in between to other ok jokes. http//www.instantrimshot.com
Recently I was asked to play in a golf outing. At first I said, "Naaahhh...." Then they said to me, "Come on, it's handicapped and blind kids". Then I thought.......... > SHIT -- I could win this thing!!!
I hear ya. A blind guy challenged me to golf for money. I said "Hell ya, I'll kick your ass anytime," He said, "Allright, we'll play tonight". Wtf? Night? http://www.instantrimshot.com/
One day, a hippie was walking down the street in the city, and spots a penny face up on the ground. "Hey," the hippie thinks, "that's some good luck!" so he picks it up and slips it in his pocket. As he rounds the corner, he bumps into a pixie, of all things, floating in mid-air. "You're definitely in luck young man, because you just found MY lucky penny, and if you give it back, I'll give you two wishes." The hippie pulls out the penny and gives it back to the pixie, and then sits against a building to think for a minute. The pixie patiently waited as the hippie pondered, and after a few minutes, he looks up and says "I wish I had a never ending joint!". The pixie grins mischievously and pulls a good-sized fatty out of her pocket. The hippie flicks his bic and lights up, puffing once, twice, four times... After ten puffs, the joint hasn't burned down a bit, the cherry still sitting perfectly on the end. At this point, the pixie is getting a little impatient, and taps the very stoned hippie on the shoulder- "Well, what's your second wish?" and without missing a beat, the hippie exclaimed "Dude, I want another one of these!"
I asked my mommy, why is daddy hunchedback? Mommy says, because daddy has a dick long enough he can suck it himself. I say ok now I understand. Then I say mommy? Why are you hunchedback also? Mommy replied: Because mommy has a big dick to.
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