Discretionary Relative Issues A REDNECK LOVE POEM ("Pa" sounds like he could be "Nutmeg"??) SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.' SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.' 'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.' BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. MARRY WILL, OR MARRY JOE: YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.' Brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?
Related Marital Issues Boy, 16 and girl, 14 legally marry in Louisiana. They move to Kentucky and get jobs. Together, they have 2 kids, 3 hounds and a mobile home with one TV. Problem is, they don't love each other no more. Questions: - Who gets the Trailer? - Who gets which Hounds? - Who gets which Kids? - Once divorced, would they still be considered brother and sister??
Joe-Bob (15) marries Lucy (14, barely) and they leave on their honeymoon. Young groom returns from their backwoods honeymoon hunting trip alone. His dad asks what happened to Lucy, Joe-Bob replies "Pa, she was a virgin. . . .and like you always said, if she ain't good enough for her family, she sure ain't good enough for our'n - so's I had to shoot her".
Wow, the dog left the room wondering what all the screaming was about maybe I watched it too many times, I can't afford Disney world, this'll be great for the kids tonight. Let them sit in my chair, get comfy, popcorn the whole nine yards. Yeah, Nutmeg's going to let us watch a you tube on his laptop. They'll all be crying and chit and they'll yell at papa, but i'll tell them it was a bad man named Yannis.
Subject: Jewish Farmer A Jewish farmer, walking through his hay field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond. The farmer shouts, "Trink nicht die wasser. Die keyen haben gesheissen dorten." (Which, in Yiddish means: "Don't drink the water, the cows shit in it.") The kneeling man shouts back, angrily, "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak to me in English." The Jewish farmer replies, "Use two hands, you'll get more."
I pretty much shop at the Dollar store because I don't have to get all dressed up like when you go to Wal-Mart.
Know Thyself The big burly man was vehemently denying that he was the one who had committed the latest burglary, and loudly defending his honor as a solid member of the community. To shut him up, the judge accepted his plea and then kindly explained to him, âYou can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.â The man thought for a moment. âWhat are peers?â he asked. âTheyâre people just like you â your equals.â âForget it,â retorted the angry defendant. âI donât want to be tried by a bunch of lying thieves!â
You know that's real. A woman really said that. My bet is, she 's a bit overweight, kinda jowley, sells shade in the summer. She doesn't dive in the pool, just kinda walks out on the board and lowers herself in. Saw her butter aspirin one day. When she dances, the band skips. http://www.instantrimshot.com
hearing the Morningstar Investment Conference is being renamed the "Evening Star" Investment conference. Here Doji. Here boy!!! Good dog, Doji. Abandoned baby is no longer just a candlestick. It's a way of life. http://www.instantrimshot.com
From http://www.imao.us/ Hippies Accidentally Create World's Largest Mercedes Sign Posted by Harvey at 11:57 AM Ithaca, NY (AP) - While attempting to create the world's largest peace sign, festival-goers in Ithaca, NY, created the world's largest Mercedes sign by mistake. Can you imagine the smell? 5814 participants gathered to form the familiar symbol of pacifist activism, but - through either oversight or stupidity - only formed three of the four radii required to create a traditional peace sign. Since the missing radius was the lower center line, the symbol they formed was actually the trademark hood ornament of the Mercedes-Benz automobile - a quality German luxury car since 1926 - rather than the anti-war symbol created by a British nuclear disarmament protestor in 1958. "Dude, this totally sucks!" observed participant Summer Sunshine Rainbow Rabinowitz. "We were, like, trying to tell Bush McChimpyhitler that his war totally blows, but somehow he managed to get his Haliburton oil buddies in here to screw us over with some sort of totally covert inside job. Just like 9/11!" Other participants, such as Moonglow Moonbeam Johnson suspected less conspiratorial causes. "'Twas the weed, my man. The Acapulco Fire-Bud has a way of rendering one incapable of creating complex geometric figures. Heck, we're lucky we didn't end up with a swastika, or - even worse - the Windows logo." Ithaca High School sophomore Trevor Dougherty, the organizer of the attempt, claimed they were still successful. "Maybe it's wasn't a peace sign, but Mercedes isn't all gas-guzzling & global warming. After all, the high priestess of high people, Janis Joplin, used it as an icon of war resistance in her song, 'Oh Lord, Won't You Run Over George Bush With a Mercedes Benz', which I once saw on YouTube or maybe somebody's MySpace page." "Anyway," Dougherty concluded, "we all got super-mega-stoned, and that's what REALLY matters." <IMG SRC=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1973786>