"Ayyyyyyyy!!! Gave my girlfriend a new vibrator for her birthday. She chipped a tooth." http://www.instantrimshot.com/ Whaddya call a Nazi with a thousand dollar hat? Your Holiness! http://www.instantrimshot.com/ "Hear about the Siamese twins that moved to England?" "The other one wanted to drive for a while." http://www.instantrimshot.com/ Stoppppppppppppppp. I"m killin' me. OK, ok Gay guy goes into a bar. I'ts happy hour. A bunch of guys in the corner are bettin' who's the best man, and got their wankers on the bar. Bartender says to the Gay Guy, 'whattya have, Pal". Gay guy says, "I think I'll have the buffet." http://www.instantrimshot.com/ ba da boom Here about the window washer who was late getting to the third floor? He got a little behind on the second. http://www.instantrimshot.com/ What goes with a kazoo played with a vagina? Chablis. http://www.instantrimshot.com/
What's the difference between me and a government bond? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Why did the Kazoo cross the road? It didn't. Someone threw it across the road because it smelled like fish.
I've often been asked, "what do you do now that you're retired?" Well, I have a chemistry background and one of the things I enjoy the most is turning beer, vodka and wine into urine. And, I'm pretty darn good at it!! Thank God I paid attention in school!
A man parks his car and walks into an office building. As he gets to the elevator, he says "Oh no! I left my Kazoo on the back seat of my car! He runs back to the car. When he gets there, he finds a window smashed out and on the back seat is a Banjo.
Older And Smarter The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, you idiot. Get in!"