Corrado "Junior" Soprano Did you hear about the Chinese Don? He'd make you an offer you couldn't understand!
Good Question It was the first day of school after summer vacation. The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends. THENâ¦In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats. The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids. After about a minute or so, he spoke: "From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework. Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter. The first one is "gross." And the other one is "cool." Are there any questions?" After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand, and the teacher calls upon him. In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks... "So, which are those two words?"
An English Teacher is lecturing a class, and notices a student sleeping in the back row. He shouts "Timmy, quick, give me two pronouns!" Timmy wakes with a start and says "Who? Me?"
Small penis she says, What is that? Does this run in your family? I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry. Were you neutered? It's a good thing you have so many other talents. Does it come with an air pump? So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. Where are the puppet strings? Look, it all fits in my mouth at once. Your big gun is more like a BB gun. Can you get this pencil out of me now? Don't hold back.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?" "I'm neither blind nor stupid", replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day"
The Blonde and the Ventriloquist A young ventriloquist is touring the club circuit. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humour!!!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this!! I'm talking to that little shit sitting on your knee."
a little blonde girl comes back from school one evening. she runs to her mum and says: "mummy today at school we learnt how to count. well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! it's good, innit?" "yes, darling, very good." answers the mother. "is that because i'm blonde?" she asks. "yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." the mother says. next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. all the other girls only went as far as d, but listen to me: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k! it's good, innit?" "yes, darling, very good." answers the mother. "is that because i'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "yes, darling it's because you're blonde." the mother says. next day, she returns from school and cries: "mummy, today we went swimming. well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" she proceeds to flash her impressive 36d at her mummy. "is that because i'm blonde, mummy?" "no darling, it's because you're 25."