Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Some guy today ordered a 4-pack of nuggets, and then he asked me to "go rambunctious" on the dipping sauce.

    Rough day, glad it's over, going to go and scout up some jokes.
     
    #2541     May 29, 2008
  2. Yannis

    Yannis

    A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.”

    :) :) :)
     
    #2542     May 30, 2008
  3. From the files of Dr Stunata:

    The rest of the story of the "man who couldn't sleep".

    (Sigh)

    The IRS caught up with him. His excuse: He had tax phobia. The "man who couldn't sleep" even found a psychiatrist, Dr. Stunata who agreed, he had Tax phobia (DSM-IV page 226, right after the chapter on UFO's R4real).


    In court, the judge allowed the IRS penalties to stand. He was skeptical that the executive suffered tax phobia for 10 years. He also doubted the genuineness of the disease noting that "the man who couldn't sleep" consulted Dr Stunata only once -- a month before the trial.


    The Moral: It's not all in your head -- tax pain is a pain in the ass, too (this has been tried, stay tuned). Or, the IRS cure for tax phobia -- take penalties and interest, and call your lawyer in the morning.
     
    #2543     May 30, 2008
  4. So this policeman comes upon this guy on his hands and knees under a streetlight, fumbling around on the ground.

    "What's the matter?" says the policeman.

    "I'm looking for my keys," says the guy.

    "Is this where you dropped them?" asks the policeman, and the guy replies, "Yes".
     
    #2544     May 30, 2008
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    C'mon nutmeg, this is a charming, very wise, ancient parable about people looking for happiness in all the wrong places, first created by the Greek philosopher Aesop (5th century BC) and then "borrowed" by the Turks and documented under the sort of mythical writings of their Sufi folk teacher Nashruddin Hotza (13th century AD):

    A guy is on his hands and knees under a street light, late at night. The policeman asks:
    "What are you doing down there, man?"
    "Looking for my wallet, Sir."
    "Is this where you lost it?"
    "No, I accidentally dropped as I was going home, up the road..."
    "Then, why are you looking here?"
    "Because, there's more light here!"

    :) :) :)
     
    #2545     May 30, 2008
  6. Thanks for the history lesson I did not know this. Now that you mentioned it, yours is the correct version of the joke and last but not least, I'll just put my joke in the broke joke thread.
     
    #2546     May 30, 2008
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    Sorry, sorry, sorry, keep doing what you're doing, you're funny!

    That broke joke thread: are you referring to our national finances by any chance? You know, we are broke, and it's a joke in Washington...:)

    Come to think of it, I have so many candidates for that thread from my own collection, but so little time... :) :)
     
    #2547     May 30, 2008
  8. I can't vouch this really happened, but I wouldn't doubt it.


    <img src="http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1940286"/>



    A friend had a Lab that crapped an entire pair of panty hose.
     
    #2548     May 30, 2008
  9. My lab ate a flourescent rubber ball, he crapped small particles of glow in the dark turds on the lawn in the snow, It was like Aureo Borealis when I turned on the yard lights, twinkling and reflecting, people came from miles around, I played music, the kids sang carols, some actually thought they had seen an image of Elvis reflection in the snow.
     
    #2549     May 30, 2008
  10. What is man's best friend ?

    And the answer is................ "Duct tape".
     
    #2550     May 30, 2008