I would suggest you consider writing a book on procrastination Maybe tomorrow. --------------- Tomorrow - tomorrow - tomorrow - time in its petty way, creeping up on us day by day.
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton. That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'
That is so funny. I have to spend some time thinking about how I can work this into everyday conversation. "Yo Nutmeg, how in the hell are you? Long time no see." "I'm Good. Except it looks like I'm going to outlive my dick."
One time I was with Chuck Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Chuck Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'SCT rocks the big one - SAY IT!' "SAY IT !!!!" "Gees Chuck, you fucking dummy, deer can't talk" I told him. "And besides, why would a deer want to say that anyways?" "We'll see about that" Chuck the stupid fuck said. He the walks over to the deer and manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'SCT rocks the big one' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer! That's Chuck for ya.
Judge Judy to the prostitute, 'So when did you realize you were raped?' Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.'