Very symbolic video. The squirrel represents the chinese, the bait in the collander was blackstone. Prolly the chinese don't think this is very funny video.
Subject: Nighttime Prayers A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack! of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my long-time tennis pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
Gee whiz td, I threw out everything made in China in my house an fro crissakes your post diaspeared too. Oh well. Ah Maybe joke thread , no talkey allowed. Tough thread. I get joke deleted, now you no make joke and that's gone. No matter. me look up more joke when read backward have special blackstone message.
Avey's clothing store was doing poorly. In fact he was having to close unless something changed drastically. Jerome came in claiming to be a super salesman, and wanting to work on commission. Avey quicly agreed, reasoning he had nothing to lose. Jerome was a fantastic salesman. In 2 weeks, sales had doubled the third week sales doubled once again. Avey thought, there is no way I can afford to lose this guy. I must retain him. Avey had one suit he had been wanting,trying, to sell for years, almost as bad as purple with pink polka dots. So, before he went to lunch, he told Jerome that if he could sell the suit, he would make him a partner with an ownership interest in the business. Imagine Avey's surprise when after a long lunch he returned to find a smiling Jerome, and the suit gone. "You didn't really sell that suit, did you," he asked Jerome. "Certainly, and I got full price too," answered Jerome. "Will, did the customer give you much trouble?" "No, none at all," said Jerome. "But, I sure had one hell of a fight with his seeing eye dog."
Another One? Noooo!! A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears? "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. What happened to your other ear?" "Well, a minute later, that guy called back!"
Just About Moms Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1 She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you Your mother ¬ some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your Mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between Moms & Dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your Mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your Mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SPOUSE A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay , Jamaica . Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple'. The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. The husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America . We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's one' We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's two'. We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that Are you crazy? She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's one'. And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after.' Don
Happily Ever After This old couple were celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary, and threw an elaborate party for the occasion. The whole extended family and all their friends were there and the man of the hour was working as hard as he could to help take care of the guests: "My love, where can I get more wine glasses?" "Over there, in the cabinet, dear." "Any more dip, my sweetie?" "Yes dear, in the refrigerator..." "Should I change the music my beautiful?" And so on. Some of the older men were amazed, and, an hour or so later, cornered their friend to ask a hot question: "Now, after all this long time of being married, you two are still in love? You call her love, sweetie, beautiful, etc, all the time? How come?" "Oh yes... you see, guys, for the past few years, I just can't remember her name!..."
wife jokes, eh? An elderly couple goes to the Dr. In the waiting room , there's another elderly couple, and the husbands start talking. "What are you in for??? " " Alzheimer's. I've got the beginning signs" "Oh, too bad. Me too. But you're at the right place. This guy is good, and he's giving me medicine that is really helping." "Really. What's the medicine? I'll ask for it." "mmmmmmm that flower, the one that's red... and if you grab it, you can get pricked......." "You mean a Rose." "Yeah, that's it. Hey, Rose! What's the medicine this guy is giving me.???"
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!" Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?" Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress." :eek: