the real question is, how the hell did these guys get to become milfs? oh no, no more pregnant guys please....
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. The lady goes to the drug store, on the instruction of the Vet, to get some 'Nair' hair remover. A dose in each ear once a month would stop the probmem. At the register the druggist tells her, 'If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days.' The lady says: 'I'm not using it under my arms.' Well then, If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.' The lady says: 'I'm not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.' 'Then, stay off your bicycle for a week
I'm not taking any chances (I try to be a good boy) but if perhaps we might re incarnate after we die, I do not want to come back as a rear tire on a fat ladys bicycle, I've seen that and I really don't appreciate a pumped up tire going flat through no fault of my own. What a re incarnated life that would be, going round and round flat as shit over curbed and broken spokes poking me in the back and all, yow, this makes my back hurt just thinking about it. I'm trying to cover all bases. I believe in all religions and superstitions and psychic reading and fortune cookies and rabbit foots, science, global wrming, and cooling and peak oil and clean jokes and bad jokes, everything could be true. Just in case. I don't want to go to hell, arrrgggghhh, anything but that, but I don't mind the heat, just the humidity. I am afraid of heights though, been working on that just in case, ya know.
Sorry nutmeg, OOPS! Now that you said it... you know how it works in this multicomedian cosmos... I should have warned you not to say things you DON'T want to happen to you because that's exactly what sticks to you, got it? Oh well, even eternity isn't forever, right?
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. 'So what do you think about that Doc ?' The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. 'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.' One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.' 'As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.' 'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said , 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.' The doctor replied , 'My point exactly.'
Technology After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their New York ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.' One week later, the 'Hemingford Ledger,' a local news paper in Hemingford, NE., reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 yards in corn fields near Berea , NE , Larry the Cable Guy, a self- taught archaeologist and dyed-in-the-wool Husker fan, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Larry has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Nebraska had already gone wireless."
A reformed Nutmeg - hardly likely A cleaned up Nutmeg - are you kidding At this rate he'll be off to church soon - oh my God !!!!!!!!
Good Thinking A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away. A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing. A few more miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, âWell, the load limit is ten tons and Iâm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so Iâve got to keep some of them flying around!â
Only because I care about you guys...... warning: this is intended for the male heterosexual members of the pack only. If you happen to be a pretty female in need of therapy yourself, please pm me after 10 pm weekdays....and I'll see what I can do.. http://www.hogrockcafe.com/male_therapy.htm