How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? We don't really know. They're still arguing about it.
I don't want to sound mean, but the pic reminds me of nutmeg's mom. :eek: Just kidding guys...... she doesn't make all those noises....:eek: Just kiiiiidding......my gosh...you guys are soooo serious...
During a visit by the Governor, a California schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense. There was a nervous pause among the children who were apprehensive of the officials in the room, press, cameramen, etc. Then Arnold came to their aid; he raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them: "De cow jumped over de fense and de tail went over de feet."
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between 'C' and 'D', but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. We ate them all, up there at the lake. The promotion looks good too, one of these days. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?" The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."
No, that's me on top of my brother attempting incest, mom is working the camera. I'll see if I got any pictures of us in the tub.
Grandma got run over by Obama http://mfile.akamai.com/5020/wma/rushlimb.download.akamai.com/5020/New/grandmagotrunover.asx
A Sharp Marine One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton .' The Marine replied, 'Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here.' The old man said, 'Okay,' and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.' The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here.' The man thanked him and again walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying 'I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.' The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, 'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?' The old man answered, 'Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!' The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'See you tomorrow.'