One of the many benefits of not dying is you can recycle your jokes. I will substitute "Ivan Bosky" with "Jimmy Cayne". But before this is over, you'll have plenty of choices. So Cayne checks in for his first day in lock down, and a rather large fellow with a bit of a mean look introduces himself. Jimmy introduces himself, and his new roomate informs Mr. Cayne that since it's Wednesday, it's couples nite at seven sharp. When Mr Cayne inquires about the festivites, his cellmate offers him first choice......."Do ya wanna be da Huzbind, or da Wife." Jimmy, always a quick thinker when his mind is not clouded by the Cannibis, has several rather unpleasant visions racing through his head. After a minute, he offers to be the Husband, figuring that would be the least intimidating of the two. As the big hand stikes seven, Mr. 20 to Life hops from his bunk, and announces,,,,,,,, "OK. Get over here and suck your wife's dick."
They're remaking "The Ten Commandments" with Cramer as Moses. There 's a bit of a twist in the ending. He leads the Chosen Ones across the Red Sea at exactly the wrong time, and they all drown. I hear the Farley Bros. Are producing and directing. Nutmeg isn't this fucking funny. Go thru to the end, I don't care how painful it is. http://www.cnbc.com/id/23575614 This son of a bitch is a dangerous as a Chinese Toy (told you I'd get to use that again.)
How do you know your bank or broker is in trouble? When you call tehtrade desk and hear: "Booyah!!! How may I help you today?"
........when you tune in at six, and the show is "No Money". Another whole topic........ New names for "Mad Money". how 'bout, 'where the fuck's my money?" or "I Used to Have Money" or "How Did I Get Money in the First Place Being This Stupid?"
Bernanke calls the trade desk, which you know is a call center in India and Habeeb answers the phone.... Then...Habeeb asks the guy in the next cubicle "It's some guy named "Ben" on the phone and wants to close his account".
"Ah, jes! Ben. May I call you , Ben? Thank you, Ben. Thank you for being a customer of ours Ben. Ben, before I can realllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeee discuss your account, I must ask you some security questions. Is that OK, Ben? Is it ok I call you Ben. Thank you very very much, Ben is it? Yes, yes. Ben, what is your Mother's favorite Maiden Pet? Very good, Ben. Was she a virgin when she married your father? Very good. Did your father hang around, Ben, or did he, as you Americans say, 'split' , 'scatter' 'vamoose" is it? Is it vamoose is it? Ah, very good Ben. Now, what can we do to helpyour Third World Dicatatorship?
It was getting dark in the forest and both parties were still a long way from home, So off they scurries to be home soon. But as chance would have it their paths crossed and in the gloom they didnât see each other rushing along and crunch they crashed into each other at the crossroads. A place notorious for collisions but the roadâs dept. claimed they hadnât enough finance to put up a sign. Not that it would have done them much good as it was pitch dark by now. Benny said â oy why donât you look where youre a going ! Offended the Jackass said â and the same to you with knobs on, superior people from Washout have the right of way here. Well after a brief scuffle they were by then too exhausted to have much of a fight over it. It is so dark says Benny . I canât see you. What do you look like. Tell you what let me feel you all over and Iâll know you next time we meet. So they both agree. The Jackass felt Benny all over and said â well you feel sort of furry and small I think youre a rabbit, Right on says Benny. And then he has a go. Youre sort of a strange shape, big ears, a strange laugh and an arrogant attitude I think youre a politician.