I remember from the old jokes thread, posted back when Spitz was busting everyone's balls on Wall Street, were the 5 worst words a corporate CEO could hear from his secretary: "Elliot Spitzer on line one." Who woulda thought the response would be, "Tell him to hold on. I'm just slipping into some fresh panties. Be right with yah!"
You know how, when you fuck up, you wife will glare at you to see your reaction to something? Somehow, I dont' think the Spitzer's will be watching "BayWatch" reruns.
Hey, look below when you post. Anybody notice "The Emperors' Club" isn't on the Sponsor List anymore? What gives? I'll say it here, and now : I WILL NEVER PAY FOR PUSSY!!!! AGAIN.
THE ONLY TIME THAT I WAS EVER PROPOSITIONED WAS IN A MOTEL BAR. A DRUGGED UP WHORE CAME UP TO ME AND OFFERED ME SEX FOR 20 BUCKS . THIS WAS ABOUT 38 YEARS AGO. I ASKED HER THAT IF I GOT THE CLAP WOULD SHE GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK. SO SHE LOOKED AT ME FOR A FEW SECONDS AND THEN REPLIED, "NO".
It's much easier for me to deliver papers on my paper route and make money and use it to pay for pussy than have some 18 yo chicks pat my head and say come back when your older. Cash is king.
Some Irish/St. Patrick Day humor... Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels. "Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A: He's Dublin over with laughter! Q: What's Irish and stays out all night? A: Patty O'furniture! Q: How did the Irish Jig get started? A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day? A:St. O'Claus! Q: Are people jealous of the Irish? A:Sure, they're green with envy! Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player? A:The Halfback of Notre Dame!