John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.' She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
A Crucial Misunderstanding An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked. "I had to slap his face hard three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered, "he didn't and that's it: I was trying to wake him up!"
Silda's thinking, "Keep talkin' Elliot. 2 testicals are gonna be on the stove tonight when you get home"
<img src=http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1832524/> Oh, my!!! Do you think he wish this wasn't taken????
What happens when you get Elliot Spitzer and Marion Barry in a hotel room together? A party breaks out!
A. He's pointing out his own deficiencies B. He's talking about the size of Hillary's dick c. He's acknowledging Nutmeg, who was in the front row. d. He was bitching about paying by the hour, when it would have been cheaper to pay by the inch.
e. "Kristen says my cock is 4 inches, but in the interest of full disclosure, it's really this long" f. "No, this is when it's erect, not flaccid."