With the price of corn and wheat, I see this year the Farmers' are doing a benefit concert for Willie Nelson.
Nutmeg was a cornflake who lived in the bottom of a cardboard box with other cornflakes. Nutmeg wanted to get out of the box, so he climbed and he climbed, and he climbed... but just then someone took the box off the grocery shelf, and Nutmeg fell to the bottom again. Nutmegs adventures go on and on, from the check-out in the grocery line to getting in the car, etc. Each time, he is almost at the top of the box when he gets shaken down into the bottom again. "Will this story ever end?" "It never ends... it's a serial." Ahahahahahahaaaaaaaa
"Mom, mom! Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.' 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished? Nutmeg.' 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.' Mom studies the pieces for a moment (she liked to humor me), then looks at the box and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.' 'Second , I want you to put all the Corn Flakes back in the box, right now!!!!!'
One blonde was painting the ceiling as the other painted the room. "Got a good grip on your brush?" asked the blonde. "Sure," said the other blonde. "Well, hold on tight. I`m taking away the ladder
I had this customer that came in to buy an extension ladder. I asked him "What size? He said he doesn't know. So I asked him how high his house was. Mind you, he is standing at the service counter, he is about 6 foot tall and bends his knees and crouches way over and said to me: "When I'm in the attic, I'm this tall"
Did I tell you about the time this young girl came in and asked to buy some things to cut through metal? I sold her some files and tungsten carbide blades for a hack saw. Three days later, on my day off, two detectives showed up at my house. Seems she put these things in her sneaker and went to visit her boyfriend at the county jail.
I'm working on a book and this is how it ends. Now I just have to work on the middle and the begining, (loose ends). Probably should have a story in there somewhere too. One day I saw many people around my house. Under the pale moon, we started fighting. Then suddenly, God came, I said "What the fack?" and he said to us, "Hi guys, stop fighting!" We said "FUCK YOU." All of us were killed in a moment.