Jokes 2

Someone spent a lot of time, finding the video, and choreograph the music. Then posting it. Whoever that was, thanks, made me laugh. I never believed in the motto "too much time on your hands" inquiring minds need to laugh.

 

"Wa Brooklyn At, Wa Brooklyn at.........."

Was a hoot, wasn't it.

To ridicule a despot like that sick prick is a good thing.

 

Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember.

 

If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make yourself a set of tits.

 

Yet another laugher from Phil in the Dallas Banjo Band.

http://users.skynet.be/pdauwe/ursula_martinez.wmv

Old effect, old method, new presentation, excellent misdirection.

Find the textbooks of the craft (or their websites) and look up TT .

 

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

 

It was already late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the national weather service and asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”

“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the national weather service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

“Yes,” the man at national weather service again replied, “It’s going to be a very cold winter.”

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the chief called the national weather service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”

“How can you be so sure?” the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

 

I had the mate to that joke, I wish I coud find it but it went something like this,

The son returns home from Harvard with an MBA, he look over his fathers news stand and says,

"Pa, we are in a recession, why do you order so many newspapers? People are losing there homes and jobs, unemployement is going up. No one will be able to afford a newspaper"

So the father orders fewer newspapers and obviously sells less.

The son said. "I told you."

"Well, you must know, you graduated form college in business".

"Pa, you better shorten your hours, work less. You're not making as much money these days"

So Pa shortens his hours and reduces the amount of papers he orders and the cycle continues, until Pa closes his newstand. The very newstand that earned Pa enough money to put junior through college.

 

I heard it as the hotdog stand. I think Ike was President.

Thank god it's baseball season. Did I ever tell you about Joe Dimaggio's cousin. She coma from Itallia to see cousina Joe. She know understand Basaball, but her American family explained the pillows were bases, hence baseball, etc. While they tell her alla dis, Joe takes Strike one. Then Ball one, strike two, ball two, three and four. And with that Joe trots to first.

"Ayyyyye" asks his cousin. "why Joe walka lika dat".

"Why Cuz, Joe Dimaggio has four balls."

"WALKA PROUD COUSINA JOE. WALKA PROUD.".

 

Hey. Do you realize there is full frontal nudity in this????? I'm going to watch it another six or eight times to be sure.