Jokes 2

Want to know if you’re, or someone you know is a gentleman?

1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don’t miss Wallstreet Warriors

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
c) A conservative estimate

7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
a) A myth
b) An oxymoron
c) A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) Appetizer is to entree
b) Priming is to painting
c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) “I hope we can still be friends.”
b) “I’m not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone….”
c) “Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.”

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) Is uptight and a waste of time
c) Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

 

IMPORTANT:

This joke is intended for the use of the individual named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational
religious beliefs.

If you are not me then the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in telling this joke although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you mofo.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards.

However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have heard any of my jokes in error, please add some nutmeg and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

 

how is a hurricane and a WOMAN alike?

BOTH arrive WET N' WILD!

and in the end..

they LEAVE with you CAR & HOUSE.

 

Subprime mess explained...

http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ_qK4g6ntM

 

This is really funny, LOL!

 

Yep, this time I actually am laughing out loud in the office, LOL.

Don

 

I found this "Drudge" caption interesting. I don't know what they were referring to, but I know what it meant to me.



<img src=http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1816716/>

C DAY

 

She looks like she is getting her ass kicked in a game of paper scissors rock.