Gratitude "Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your professionalism, medical knowledge and careful treatment." "But you are not one of my patients..." "Yes, I know. But my rich uncle Bill, may he rest in peace, was!"
One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the ? ? ?" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. " She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!" Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
Yeah, it was funnier the first time, over a year ago. It seems that a large number of all jokes being posted on ET have already been posted... right here on ET. Apparently, the internet's supply of jokes is a non-fucking-renewable resource.
A simple, "heard it before" will suffice. Tsk Tsk. You know, they say there are only seven jokes. Everything else is just a variation. May I illustrate??? Thank you. 1. Two flies land on a turd. One farts. The other says, "hey hey!!! I'm eatin' here. 2. Two flies land next to a turd. One farts. the other says, "hey, hey!!! I'm eatin' here. See how they are similar, yet different? Now let's lighten up a bit. Life is much too short, unless you're a bigamist. Then, it can't end quick enough.