THE HORTH WHITHPERER A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point , but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that.. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. When I was younger I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank goodness for heros.
Then, with the subsequent brain damage, you became a "greeter". Go ahead. shout it from the rooftops.
I chatted up our door greeter. Quite the fisherman, he showed me pictures of fish he caught, yada yada fish stories. Seriously though, the job just has no clout, he's not a go to guy with your WMT problems, I've been telling him for months that they are out of anchovies and they are still out of stock, I thought he could help being as how he is such a great fisherman, nobody cares.
makes you want to fucking build something, just soes you could get his fucking blocks for half - fucking price, for fuck's sake.
This is probably my fault. Yes I did e-mail him with a few questions. I do remember asking him if he had other photos of the bricks, or if he had other colors. Sheesh. I tried to explain to him that I am still in therapy and to stop addressing me as sizzle chest.