Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. always the gentleman.

    She told me let's go to my house. Nobody's home. So I went over. there was nobody home.
     
    #1731     Feb 7, 2008
  2. Did you here about the girl who went fishing with 5 guys?

    She came back with a red snapper.
     
    #1732     Feb 7, 2008
  3. [​IMG]
     
    #1733     Feb 8, 2008
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    So True, So Very True...

    :) :) :)
     
    #1734     Feb 8, 2008
  5. Take the test. Too much sex causes brain damage. True or False. Do you have brain damage?




    1. t/f People tell me one thing one day and out the other.

    2. t/f I can't unclasp my hands.

    3. t/f I can wear my shirts as pants.

    4. t/f I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today.

    5. t/f At parties, I like to sit by myself and collect a great deal
    of saliva.

    6. t/f I often mistake my hands for food.

    7. t/f I'd rather eat soap than little stones.

    8. t/f I never liked room temperature.

    9. t/f I line my pockets with hot cheese.

    10. t/f My throat is closer than it seems.

    11. t/f I am annoyed by the taste of my teeth.

    12. t/f Sometimes I feel compelled to count the freckles on my arms
    over and over until I lose control of my bladder.

    13. t/f Most things are better eaten than forgotten.

    14. t/f Likes and dislikes are among my favorites.

    15. t/f My patio is covered with killer frost.

    16. t/f I've lost all sensation in my shirt.

    17. t/f I try to swallow at least three times a day.

    18. t/f My best friend is a social worker.

    19. t/f I've always known when to close my eyes.

    20. t/f My squirrels don't know where I am tonight.

    21. t/f Little can be said for Luxembourg.

    22. t/f No napkin is sanitary enough for me.

    23. t/f I walk this way because I have to.

    24. t/f Walls impede my progress.

    25. t/f I can't find my marmots.

    26. t/f I like mechanics magazines, but I would rather fondle a
    marine.

    27. t/f My uncle is as stupid as paste.

    28. t/f I can pet animals by the mouthful.

    29. t/f My toes are numbered.

    30. t/f Man's reach should exceed his overbite.

    31. t/f People tell me I'm deaf.

    32. t/f My beaver won't go near the water.

    33. t/f I can find my ears, but I have to look for them.

    34. t/f I don't like any of my loved ones.

    35. t/f Sometimes I have the strange feeling that I've done something
    before.

    36. t/f Sometimes I have the strange feeling that I've done something
    before.

    37. t/f A good friend should stick to the ceiling when the going
    gets rough.
     
    #1735     Feb 8, 2008
  6. From the files of ask Dr Stu Nata.

    SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
    FAULT: You are being carried out.
    ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not,
    complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.
     
    #1736     Feb 8, 2008
  7. You're at Dr. Nata's office having your prostate checked. You feel that "tug" in your loins, but there are hands on each of your shoulders.

    You're dating.
     
    #1737     Feb 8, 2008
  8. Okay, time for some World's Thinnest Books


    1. "Elements of Risk Managment", Victor Niederhoffer

    2. "Winning Trading Techniques", Marketsurfer

    3. "Life Manual of Sanity and Calmness", nutmeg

    4. "New Diet Recipes", Don Bright

    5. "My Collection of Clean Jokes", flytiger
     
    #1738     Feb 8, 2008
  9. Hey!!!!! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?????? :D
     
    #1739     Feb 8, 2008
  10. continuation of World's Smallest Books:

    "Women I wouldh't Sleep With" Bill Clinton

    "Women I wouldn't Sleep With" Hillary Clinton


    "
     
    #1740     Feb 8, 2008