Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. I have used viagra a couple of times.

    I got a bloody nose though :(
     
    #1641     Jan 30, 2008
  2. sudden hard-on hit me in the face
     
    #1642     Jan 30, 2008
  3. I reckon you are referring to your own...:D
     
    #1643     Jan 30, 2008
  4. You need a tighter grip. You're hand was flying off, hitting you in the face.
     
    #1644     Jan 30, 2008
  5. Yep it was my own. It just came out of nowhere...

    that drug is dangerous.

    In the warnings they should include 'danger of poking your girlfriend's eyes out'....

    Use protective eye covers or something, specially at night....
     
    #1645     Jan 30, 2008
  6. I didn't say anything about a girl...... I just said your grip was too loose.
     
    #1646     Jan 30, 2008
  7. A guy stops to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. His friend says, "My feet are cold. Would you get me my sneakers for me?"
    The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's two gorgeous daughters.
    He says, "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to fuck you."
    The first daughter says, "That's not true."
    He says, "I'll prove it."
    He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?"
    His friend yells back, "Of course, both of them
     
    #1647     Jan 31, 2008
  8. A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

    As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
    While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck dick?"
    "No!" she shrieked, aghast.
    So, he dropped her.

    As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
    "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
    He dropped her, too.

    The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

    "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.
     
    #1648     Jan 31, 2008
  9. Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"
    And so they did.

    As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!"

    And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"
     
    #1649     Jan 31, 2008
  10. A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"

    "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

    "But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"
     
    #1650     Jan 31, 2008