"I know you think I'm putting on weight, but I'm "big boned"." "Yup, it's that big bone in your ass making you look fat. She's so fat..............................
Why, she was so fat......... When she got on the talking scale, it said....."Please, Lady. One at a time." In summer, she has a home based business. She sells shade. She wasn't baptized. A dignitary broke a champagne bottle over her bow. She was a runaway as a teen. Had to take a truck route. She boarded a bus that was full. She asked a man if he shouldn't be chivalrous, and give up his seat. He responded, "well, I'll make a contribution." Her husband kissed her all over, all night long, and never hit the same spot twice. After an hour or so, he realized he was banging the back of her knee Ba da bum
.........and Mama elbowed her way to the front of the crowd, bellowing...... "I got to have me summa dat'!!!!!!"
nutmeg, Alternatively, you might want to give her a gift certificate for a nice facial, redeemable at the Nutmeg Salon.
Sometimes, the most simple acts will show how much you love her. Take a protein shake for instance. No artificial flavors, processing, artificial colors, etc. Just pure home-made love...
A protein shake? lol. Around thanksgiving she asked me if she was getting too fat and I said no but she is like a lovable butterball. What the hell was I thinking. She must've been cooking something that smelled good. I have been walking around on my knees for months begging for foriveness. "You want a protein shake? I'll give you protein shake, get your lazy ass moving and paint something."
LOL. No, no, no nutmeg...I'm referring to the protein shake that comes out of your dick... get it, low cost..home-made...full of love...ahhh forget it...too dirty for the board. What was I thinking?? Normally, I could only get a few squirts into the blender...but put Cristina Aguilera on TV and BAM!!! gallons of home-made shakes...