Why did the trader bring a ladder to the market?Because they heard the stocks were going through the roof!
re: Joke under Stalin. End up imprisoned David Sigua, a young doctor, told the following joke in the canteen of the clinic where he worked: Stalin summons his economists and tells them he wants to lay on a great feast for the people, a feast so great they will celebrate for weeks. He asks how much this would cost, but no one can say. Then one of the economists pipes up: ‘It could be done very cheaply. Buy a single bullet and shoot yourself – then everyone will celebrate.’ Sigua was denounced, arrested, and sentenced to eight years in a forced labor camp, the Gulag, in Siberia.
After being married *for 50 year I took a careful look at my wife and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night. Now, we have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’ My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problem
Not a typical funny stuff, but the way little rascal pretends to be browsing the shop like a regular customer & then grabbing that sausage
If this career change doesn't work out, he can always get into trading like another retired ophthalmologist. https://theonion.com/assad-returns-to-ophthalmology-at-moscow-lenscrafters/
Hitler went to a fortuneteller and asked her, On what day will I die? The seeress assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. Why are you so sure of that?- demanded Hitler. Any day, she replied, on which you die will be a Jewish holiday.