Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Nobert

    Nobert

     
    #15911     Sep 17, 2024
  2. zdreg

    zdreg

    A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

    the flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.

    she then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.

    the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."

    the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.

    the co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

    the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."

    the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

    the pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? i'll

    handle this, i'm married to a blonde. i speak blonde."

    he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

    the flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

    "i told her, 'first class isn't going to toronto."
     
    #15912     Sep 17, 2024
    Nobert and gwb-trading like this.
  3. zdreg

    zdreg

    Last edited: Sep 18, 2024
    #15913     Sep 18, 2024
    Nobert likes this.
  4. zdreg

    zdreg

    joke or truth?
    when you marry for money you end up earning it.
     
    #15914     Sep 20, 2024
  5. zdreg

    zdreg

    Both funny and sad

    A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.

    The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands.

    Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

    Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

    The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart."

    Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

    Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

    1. Who the hell is this?

    2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

    3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?

    4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?

    5. I don't understand what you mean.

    6. What the hell did you do now?

    7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.

    8. Am I dreaming?

    9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

    10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

    11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?. ...


    *Add your own reply.
     
    #15915     Sep 20, 2024
    gwb-trading likes this.
  6. zdreg

    zdreg

    A Chechen warlord who claimed Elon Musk gifted him a Cybertruck accused the Telsa CEO on Thursday of “remotely” disabling the machine-gun-mounted vehicle, which needed to be towed off the Russian battlefield.

    I found this story hilarious. It makes me want to invest in anything Elon Musk is involved in.
     
    #15916     Sep 20, 2024
  7. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    IMG_5928.jpeg
     
    #15917     Sep 21, 2024
  8. zdreg

    zdreg

    re: differences in culture

    A Swede, a Dane, and a Finn meet up in a bar. The bartender puts three glasses of vodka in front of them. The Swede raises his glass and says “Skol”. The Dane then also raises his glass and says “Skol”. The Finn sighs and says, “Did we come here to drink, or are you two just going to jabber all night?”
     
    #15918     Sep 23, 2024
    Nobert and gwb-trading like this.
  9. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    Divorced-Barbie.jpg
     
    #15919     Sep 24, 2024
    Nobert and zdreg like this.
  10. zdreg

    zdreg

    Photo may not be humorous to some recently divorced men.
     
    #15920     Sep 24, 2024