A manager at the restaurant where I often visited was a friendly, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him--his height. Or his lack of it. One day he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of the waitresses were speechless, except for one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
So where is your Obligatory Joke -- we may need downvote button for people who fail to provide any humor. ========================================================== Every day in Moscow, people buy newspaper, glance at front page, and throw it straight in trash. One day the newspaper seller asks a customer, "Why you do that? Why do you not read inside newspaper?" The man responds, "I check obituary" "But obituary is not on front page. It is on back page" "Putin's obituary will be on front page"
There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The 1st one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works. She tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, being a man he decided to marry,... The one with the biggest tits.