I was on a bus in Chicago many years ago, when I overhead two guys behind me talking about their girlfriends. One of them asked the other why he always dates such dumb women. The other person protested, asking, “What do you mean?! Like who?” To which the first person replied, “What about your previous girlfriend?” “What about her?” “Well, don’t you remember what she said after we all saw Jurassic Park together?” “No, what?” “We were all agreeing that the movie was amazing, and then she said that she was really surprised by how well they had trained the dinosaurs!” “Oh, yeah. I guess you’re right. I do date dumb women.”
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for Tuesday. A man asked his wife "what would you do if I won the lottery?" She said, "I'd take half and leave you". "Great" he said "I won $12, here's $6. Stay in touch." Some people won't admit their mistakes. I would if I had any.
I was in a store using the restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” Embarrassed... I said, “I’m ok!" The voice said, "So what are you up to?” I said, “Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!” Then I hear, “Can I come over?” Annoyed... I said “Excuse me?!?!." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!