Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Nobert

    Nobert

    It's not really a joke, but some crazy/stupid accident that i just heard on the local news.

    2 older guys. They don't know each other.
    Both ilegally hunting beavers / rare fish. Late at night, different spots at the same lake.

    The guy who came for the fish was diving, while the guy who came for the beavers put some shells into him.
    Must have thought that it's some helluwah legendary beaver or smthn.

    Guy survived. Both in court.
     
    #15621     Dec 8, 2023
  2. zdreg

    zdreg

    Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

    A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "Don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially if you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite!"

    The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
     
    #15622     Dec 8, 2023
    gwb-trading likes this.
  3. ph1l

    ph1l

    The joke, with its unexpected ending that the frog can't actually sing, is a shaggy dog story.

    Here is another one.
     
    #15623     Dec 8, 2023
    zdreg likes this.
  4. zdreg

    zdreg

    +1 I read the link.
     
    #15624     Dec 8, 2023
  5. zdreg

    zdreg

    I was in a pub last Saturday night, had quite a few drinks, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

    One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

    So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
    That's pretty much the last thing I remember from that evening
     
    #15625     Dec 8, 2023
  6. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    IMG_4666.jpeg
     
    #15626     Dec 10, 2023
  7. zdreg

    zdreg

    [​IMG]
    An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in.

    As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter.

    The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.

    Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"

    The waitress replied," Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!
     
    #15627     Dec 13, 2023
    Atlantic and Frederick Foresight like this.
  8. zdreg

    zdreg

    [​IMG]
     
    #15628     Dec 13, 2023
  9. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    IMG_4672.jpeg
     
    #15629     Dec 13, 2023
    donnap, vanzandt, Atlantic and 3 others like this.
  10. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    IMG_4669.jpeg
     
    #15630     Dec 14, 2023