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An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy's intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven, and Hell, or life after death when you don’t know crap?
re: Smart Mom A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious... Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates." About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" He said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote : Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not take the silver plate But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, your son. Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow… Love, Mom.
Three men are out on the golf course. The first tees off and slices the ball straight into the water hazard. The second man is like, “Oof, tough luck, Moses!” Moses replies, “No worries.” He walks over, waves his driver at the water, and it parts. He finds his ball and plays on. The second guy tees off and also hits it right in the water. Moses laughs and says, “Haha, didn’t learn anything, did you, Jesus?” Jesus laughs, walks out over the water, finds his ball, and plays through. The third man tees off. His ball slices straight toward the water, but before it breaks the surface, an enormous fish jumps out of the water and swallows the ball. As the fish is about to land, an eagle swoops down and scoops the fish up in its talons. The eagle swoops out, but drops the fish a moment later. It lands, and the ball rolls out of its mouth... straight into the hole. Moses looks at Jesus and says, “Man. I hate playing golf with your dad.”