A recently fired stock trader said: "This is worse than a divorce, I have lost everything and I still have my wife!"
Two ex-Lehman risk quants go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the quants catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One quant turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us $1500?" The other quant says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"