Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

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    #14751     May 11, 2020
  2. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

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    #14752     May 11, 2020
    elderado likes this.
  3. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

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    #14753     May 13, 2020
    vanzandt and themickey like this.
  4. donnap

    donnap

    LOL. That would be me. I live out in the country.

    Only differences are more neighbors walking on MY road.

    And, when I go into town I wear a mask: even when I'm not robbing stuff.
     
    #14754     May 13, 2020
    Frederick Foresight likes this.
  5. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

    DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

    JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

    SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

    BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

    AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

    HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

    ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
     
    #14755     May 18, 2020
  6. elderado

    elderado

    I did not guess correctly.

     
    #14756     May 19, 2020
  7. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

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    #14757     May 19, 2020
  8. A plane has five passengers on board: Donald Trump, the Pope, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Nancy Pelosi, and a ten year old school girl. The plane is about to crash and there is only four parachutes.
    --
    Dr Fauci, said “I need one, I have to help develop a cure for the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He straps on a parachute and jumps.
    --
    The pope said “I need one, I have to help spiritually guide people through the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He takes one and jumps.
    -- Pelosi said ‘‘I need one, I’m the smartest woman in the United States.” she takes one and jumps.
    --
    President Trump pauses for a moment and then turns to the 10-year-old. After a deep sigh, he says tenderly, "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only starting".
    --
    The child replies, "Don’t worry, there are two parachutes left. The smartest woman in the United States took my school backpack.
     
    #14758     May 20, 2020
    Ayn Rand and elderado like this.
  9. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #14759     May 21, 2020
    Frederick Foresight likes this.
  10. easymon1

    easymon1

    How do you tell a foreign troll from a domestic troll?
     
    #14760     May 21, 2020