A young man and an old man were sitting in a bar late one night. They were talking about different things and then the old man asked the young man what he bought his wife for her birthday. “I got her a brand new Mercedes Benz and a 24-karat diamond ring,” says the young man. The old man, a bit puzzled, asked, “Why the hell did you get her both?” The young man replied, “I got her both so if she doesn’t like the ring, she can drive her new car back to the jeweler’s to exchange it. So…What did YOU buy for YOUR wife?” The old man said, “I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a d!ldo.” Obviously confused, the young man asked why he chose those items. The old man replied, “Because if she doesn’t like the flip-flops, she can go f*ck herself!”
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm.” The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.” So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time, torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.” So the king hired the donkey. And so began the practice of hiring dumb a$ses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this day.
I just met a woman outside of Kohl’s crying because she had lost $200.00 dollars . So I gave her $40.00 from the $200.00 I had just found . When God blesses you , you must bless others .