A smart poodle named Guo Guo shows off its piano and singing skills on its owner's command in northern China. In the clip, which was filmed in Songyuan City in Jilin Province on December 22, the owner can be heard saying: "Jump up! Play the electric piano and sing." Then Guo Guo jumps onto the chair in front of the electric piano and starts to press the keyboard with its two front paws while howling.
Paddy met Mick in the street and Mick said, ‘Paddy, in future you should draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife!’ ‘Why?’ Paddy asked. ‘Because,’ said Mick, ‘all the street was sniggering when they saw you two making love yesterday.’ Mick said, ‘Nosey buggers, well then, the Iaugh’s on them. I wasn’t home yesterday.’
A few days after his birthday, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the fucking tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are fucking pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looke...d puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.