Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

  2. A-Trader

    A-Trader

    Dad is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bedtime.
    She says - God bless mommy and god bless daddy and god bless grandma and... goodbye grandpa.
    He asks her - why did you say that?
    I don't know, I just felt like saying it.
    The next day, grandpa drops dead. Wow, thinks dad, that's an odd coincidence.
    A month later at bedtime, the daughter says - God bless mommy and daddy. And goodbye grandma.
    Sure enough, the next day grandma breathes her last earthly breath.
    The dad realizes this is more than a coincidence, but he is not sure what to do. He doesn't want to disturb his wife by telling her (Grandma and grandpa were her parents).
    Months go by and one night the man is listening to his daughter saying her prayers at bedtime - God bless mommy....she turns her head and looks straight at him - and goodbye daddy. What!? are you sure honey? She nods. The man's heart begins racing and he breaks out in a sweat. He is so upset, he can't sleep at all that night.
    The next day he goes off to work, but locks himself in his office. He takes the phone off the hook, cancels all his meetings and awaits the inevitable.
    He stays at work past 5 because he feels secure there. He watches the hours tick by. Finally it is midnight and, drenched in sweat, he realizes he has cheated death. He drives home drenched in sweat and with all his nerves frazzled.
    His wife is up and waiting for him - Where the hell were you today??! He replies - Don't shout, I've had an absolutely miserable day.
    His wife then says - You had a miserable day? I'm the one who had a miserable day! First, the milkman drops dead on the steps...
     
    #14462     Sep 7, 2018
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  3. Handle123

    Handle123

    After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of New York City, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years.

    They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.


    Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside.

    Shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists report a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."


    One week later, a local newspaper in Houston, Texas reported the following: "After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sugarland, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".


    Just makes a person proud to be from Texas.
     
    #14463     Sep 8, 2018
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  4. Tom B

    Tom B

    [​IMG]
     
    #14464     Sep 8, 2018
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  5. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #14465     Sep 9, 2018
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  6. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    #14466     Sep 9, 2018
  7. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #14467     Sep 15, 2018
    traderob likes this.
  8. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #14468     Sep 15, 2018
  9. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #14469     Sep 15, 2018
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  10. baro-san

    baro-san

    FakeNewsEverywhere.jpg
    “It’s important to note that the two individuals in the background are walking on concrete, and Mike Seidel is trying to maintain his footing on wet grass, after reporting on-air until 1:00 a.m. ET this morning and is undoubtedly exhausted,” The Weather Channel said in a statement. :thumbsdown::thumbsdown::thumbsdown:

     
    #14470     Sep 15, 2018
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