If you're the kind of guy who eats alphabet soup and chokes on the D, you need to hear this. Feel the roid rage. Epic.
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit”, St. Peter asked ? “Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon agang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!' St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?' 'Couple of minutes ago.
Psychiatrist vs Bartender As a child, I always had a fear of someone under the bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.” “Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink…. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.” “How much do you charge?” “One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor. “I'll sleep on it,” I said Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked. “Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.” “Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” “He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.”