Fly That was so funny. As I'm scrolling down I was expecting to see a picture of me or someone I know. The few olan mills pix I have in the basement are safely wrapped in newspaper, tomorrow I'll be sure to stack some more shit on top of them, no one will find them till I'm dead.
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma' am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.' The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't . He just walked in the door
Like an asshole, I'm reading that over and over not getting it. sheese. Man and wife eating dinner in same restaurant when this blonde comes over and lays one on our hero. That wife says "who the fuck was that?" Dad says, "that's my mistress." "Why you SOb, I'll own everything you have, I'll this, I'll that. "You'll do no such thing. You have three homes, four cars. You vacation in the finest of resorts. You don't know an oven from a iron. You haven't done a lick of work in fifteen years, and if you know what 's good for you, you'll shut the fuck up and let everybody live." She buries her head in her dinner, realizing the truth in what was said. A bit later, She recognizes her husband's friend Joe walk in with a large breasted brunette. She asks. " who's that Joe is with?" Her husband replies, "that's his mistress." "Oh"..................... "ours is prettier."
Perhaps I had better explain Fly the wife's boyfriend slid under the table and out of sight BECAUSE the husband had just walked in . Not so very funny but ...........
I'll go and ask if we can go through," said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies. "Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going. That's my wife up ahead and she's playing with my mistress." Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. "I say," he said, "what a coincidence."
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
I had to apply myself today. Ahahahahaha. Hence, other people were entertained by my joked up life. Option pro. good you tube had to send that around.