Two businessmen in the centre of Manhatton, were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop... As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes. "Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, “Must be doing well...Only two left."
Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’ The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is always color-coded.’ The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’ The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like Builders. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’ But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts – the mouth and the a$$hole – and they are interchangeable’.
With doctors their writing is so illegible that no one can read their notes and as for lawyers - half of it is in latin and the rest is pure conjecture.
And then a 6th surgeon walks into the room and says "NO(!)... all five of you are wrong! Lawyers are the easiest". ....."No one cares if they die".
Letter to myBoss, I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay mysalary tillthe day I die and a health plan that most peoplecan only dream about. Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to finda newposition. During this time I will show up for work whenit is convenient. Inaddition,I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job. Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless,I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you sayanything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this. Sincerely, Every Senator or Congressman running for re-election Are we stupid or what? YES, WE ARE. This is something to think about no matter what state you live in or what party you belong to.
Lottery winner arrested for dumping $200,000 of manure on ex-boss’ lawn https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/lo...for-dumping-200000-of-manure-on-ex-boss-lawn/ A man from Illinois was arrested for getting $224,000 worth of manure dumped on his former employer’s property, only two weeks after he won $125 million at the lottery and quit his job. 54-year old Brian Morris, from the small town of Clarendon Hills in Dupage County, bought over 20,000 tons of manure and asked for it to be dumped on his former boss’ property, pretending it was his residence. Dozens of trucks filled with manure showed up in front of the house around 6:00 this morning and began dumping their smelly cargo over the property’s lawn. George Fitzgerald, Mr. Morris’ former employer, was awakened by the sound of the vehicles on his property and rapidly called the police. Unfortunately, it took the police more than 15 minutes to arrive on the site, and more than 10,000 tons of manure had already been dumped in the meantime. Brian Morris was standing right across the street and laughing when the police arrived, and he rapidly came over to confess his responsibility and explain his motivations. Lieutenant Frank Meyers, a spokesman of the Clarendon Hills Police Department, met the press a few hours later to explain the motivations behind this strange crime. “The accused told us he’d worked for the victim for 17 years and was treated like shit. He says he had to endure his mistreatment because he needed the money, but that now that he won $125 million it was time for revenge.” Brian Morris had attracted a lot of media attention two weeks ago after winning $125 million at Powerball Multi-state lottery. When asked by organizers what he would do with the money, he had simply answered: “Just read the news, you’ll see“. He was freed on bail a few hours after his arrest, and told reporters to “stay alert“, claiming he had “a few other pranks to pull over the next few weeks“.