A fellow walks slowly up to his coworker's house, hat in hand, and says to his coworker's wife "I'm very sorry to inform you, Mrs O'Hara, that your husband Danny has died in a terrible accident at the Guinness plant. He fell in a vat of beer and drowned." Danny's wife says "Oh no, I hope it was quick and he didn't suffer much!". His coworker says "I'm sorry, Ma'm, but it wasn't quick for Danny. He had to climb out 3 times to pee!"
Did you hear the one about the gay road mender. He has a sign outside his house saying " free ass felt here "