Not sure this belongs under jokes, this could be true. Here is a piece of Greek history regarding the Olympic games. 2500 years ago a slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa'-me) was attending the first athletic festival in Greece. This festival had no name at that time. In those days the athletes performed naked and to prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink containing saltpeter. At the opening ceremonial parade of this first great event, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed: "Oh! Limp pricks!". Over the next two and a half millennium that expression morphed into the word “Olympics.” So Now you know....
D0 you believe in coincidences? The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, 70 years ago, numerous witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered-up by the U.S. Air Force, as well as other Federal Agencies and Organizations. However, what you may NOT know is that during the month of April, year 1948, nine months after the historic day, the following people were born: Barrack Obama, Sr. Albert A. Gore, Jr. Hillary Rodham William J. Clinton John F. Kerry Howard Dean Nancy Pelosi Dianne Feinstein Charles E. Schumer Barbara Boxer Joe Biden This is the obvious consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jack-asses. I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me. And now you can stop wondering why they so strongly support Illegal Aliens !
Two nicely dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in Los Angeles airport. The first lady was an arrogant Californian woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered, elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to Charm School ," declared the Southern lady. " Charm School ?" the first woman said, amazed, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?" The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart!"
It is all in your best interest Most seniors never get enough exercise. In his wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then: God saw there was another need. In his wisdom, he made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then: God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So, if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older: #9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8- Life is sexually transmitted. #7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6- Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. #5- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. #4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. #3- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #2- In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. Please share this wisdom with others, while I go to the bathroom. N."Fred" Boothe The Happy Hooligan Stop worrying about the President and start worrying about the 530 plus unproductive finger pointing congressmen clowns. "What this country needs is more unemployed Politicians." ~~Edward Langley "In God We Trust" "We the People" are the Government.
"I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my latina mother-in-law who lives at 1837 3rd st, LA 90023 blue house; she gets off work at 6."