There was this man who went to a topless bar. He complained that the beer was alright but the waitress was flat.
Oh no it's little Johnny! A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name some quote origins. Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln.""That's right Susie, you can go home." Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." "That's right Mary, you can go." Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." The teacher turns her back Johnny yells in frustration, "I wish those dumb bitches would keep their f*%$#@ mouths shut!" The teacher turns around and she is livid and yells: " WHO SAID THAT?!" Johnny replies: "Harvey Weinstein. I'll see you Tomorrow!
The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born. Statistics just released from The National Statistics Office and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, revealed that: North American, Australian, New Zealanders, Europeans, and British men between 50 and 70 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky. This has come as very upsetting news to a lot of us at the pub, as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.
There were reports of a rumpus in the Kremlin last week. It seems someone stole the results of the US's upcoming mid term election results.