A couple of us local retired types from the Senior Center were asked to address a high school gathering put on by the PTA. As luck would have it, I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself. I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions. The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?” I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my 7+ decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted.” I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by: 1) If it flies, floats, or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent it 2) If it’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it. I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish. Kids need to know this stuff!!
Just so you know and understand where he’s coming from…this is the oppression that hehas to endure here in the USA It’s hard to chastise someone’s behavior…unless you have “walked a mile” in one pair of their 400+ pairs of shoes!
Two elderly women die and go to heaven. St. Peter says to them,”Ladies, I checked the files and you have led an exemplary life and as a small token of our appreciation, we are going to give you back the body you had at 18 and let you go back to earth and have sex with one person of your choice!” The first woman says, “Well, I always did like that Brad Pitt fellow” and poof, she’s gone in a puff of smoke. The other woman says “Donald Trump.” St. Peter looks quizzical and asks, “Who is Donald Trump?” The woman says, “I don’t know either but everyone I knew when I was alive said ‘Fuck Donald Trump!”