Speaking of cunning runts, I have devoted more of my life to shunting and hooting than to hunting and shooting.
Father And Son A cannibal and his son are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that sheâs to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman. âSure son" the father replied, drooling, âweâll take her home for keeps and eat your mother!"
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Happy Farm Life A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon!"
A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story, so he went up into the mountains were he found an old farmer named Willis sitting on his porch. He introduced himself, explained his mission, and asked, "Has anything ever happened here that made you really happy?" The farmer thought for a moment, then said, "Yeah, one time my neighbour's daughter, a fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and went to look for her, and when we found her, we all took turns to screw her." "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can't you think of anything else that happened, which made you happy?" The farmer thought for a while longer, then smiled. "Yep! One time a neighbour's sheep got lost. We formed a posse to look for it, and when we found it, we all took turns to screw it." Again, the young man said "I can't print that, either! Let's try another approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?" The old farmer dropped his head in shame. After a couple of seconds he looked up timidly at the young man and said, "This one time, I got lost..."
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it...but the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was (GASP...)....... Hillary Clinton. That evening, the man introduced Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again.. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary, cautiously and whispered in her ear... "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"