A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency where social workers raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers raise concerns about the education the child would receive while in the couple's care. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects, along with French, Mandarin & computing skills.” Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. "The child will be surrounded by family, but we’ve also retained a nanny who’s a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare and diet.” The social workers are finally satisfied and ask, "What age child are you ideally hoping to adopt?” "Doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."
A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all on his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's has to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered... "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me."