The history of the middle finger I never knew this before, and now that I know it, Ifeel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew'). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.' IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY! And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing
Subject: Sex Advice from a senior I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired.” His buddy says, “ I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just can’t keep up with it." An older man (70+), sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation. He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years said: "Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit."
A wild eyed (and butt ugly) old woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, DC waiving an un-holstered pistol and yelled out, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911, with a seven round magazine, plus one in the chamber. I want to know who's been sleeping with my husband?" A female voice from the back of the room called out, "You Need More Ammo Hillary!"