Jokes 2

Why I don’t trust joggers? Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.

 

Why won’t Mexicans be sad too long about Trump’s wall?

That's OK. They will get over it.

 

Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?
-
Oh Harry, that would be lovely!
-
Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?

 

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.

I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.

He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!”

“No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“

 

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.

 

They say you can’t get a decent job without education.

But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

 

Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?

Do you smoke?
No.

Do you eat too much?
No.

Do you go to bed late?
No.

Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.

Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

 

Whatever you do, always give it your 100%.

Unless you are donating blood.

 

A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.

The surprised girl said, “What was that?”

The guy smiled at her, “Direct marketing!”

The girl slapped him soundly.

“What was that?!” said the boy, holding his cheek.

“Customer feedback.”

 

Do you know how to make a dumb person curious?”
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“No, how?”
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“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”