I hear GE has a new Microwave geared to these people. The buttons are "defrost" ""hotdogs" "popcorn" "severed hands" "beverages".................. BTW, for you fucking wackos w/o Microwaves, it's 25 minutes a pound at 350 degrees.
Knock-knock. Who's there? Blind Tom of the Wild Left-Handed Matthewites Boys. Blind Tom of the Wild Left-Handed Matthewites Boys, who? What, how many Blind Tom of the Wild Left-Handed Matthewites Boys do you know?
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. "They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Leroy about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Leroy said, "Actually, we went to Bronx."
"What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. _______________________________ The white version is probably the law firm of Smith Smith Smith & Smith, never could get anyone on the phone. (sigh)
We know Leroy is a lying sack of shit that can't spell but he also has a cursing problem and his fatherâs getting tired of it. He decides to ask Dr Stu Nata (a shrink refereed by Nutmeg) what to do. Dr Stu Nata says, âNegative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Leroy what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog shit.â Two days before Christmas, Leroys father axed Leroy what he wants for Christmas. âI want a god damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a muthasfuckin train going around the piecee of shit tree you and mom picked out. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.â On Christmas morning, Leroy wakes up and rolls into a pile of dog shit. Confused, he walks downstairs and sees another pile of shit under the tree. He walks outside, looks at a huge pile of dog shit by the garage, and walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, âWhat did Santa bring you this year?â Leroy replies, âI think I got a goddamn dog, but I canât find the son of a bitch!â
OK, Here Goes Hillary Clinton went for her annual exam. After the exam, the OB-GYN told her that she was pregnant, and in great shape. Hillary couldn't believe the news and stormed out of the office. She rushed to her limo, picked up the phone, dialed and screemed: "You got me pregnant, stupid! How could you be so careless?" There is a silence on the other end. Finally, she hears Bill's voice. "Who is this?''