The Case of the Insured Cigars A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these Great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion The lawyer sued.. and WON! Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be an unacceptable fire and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires". After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. ONLY IN AMERICA! NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS!
Have you worked out your next holiday destination ? No ! Well consider going to Moscow for a DT weekend courtesy of Uncle Vlad. That's 3 nights in a luxury Moscow hotel, own room and en suite bathroom. And if you are important enough an alnight entertainment from the gorgeous Ludmilla and her friends. The act starts after midnight with a discreet knock on your bedroom door and...................lo and behold there in tears is the gorgeous Ludmilla in a see through nightie. You gotta be important though. Make sure you drop enough hints in the lobby in earshot of the desk. Blimey O' Reilly you thinks. What a gal. Can I come in she says...My boyfriend has locked me out of the bedroom. Don't faint with excitement cos it's all part of the entertainment. Can you stand the pace ? * * * Anyways hours later. Free pics of your sexual prowess and hers can be expected in the post. Don't let me keep you ya red bloodied boy - what are ya waiting for get phoning.
Hey, what's up guys? Did you hear about that new restaurant they just put on the moon? The food is great, but there's no atmosphere.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat . As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, " Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, " Business. " I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston ." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" " Lecturer," she responded. " I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" " Well," she explained, "One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed." I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name..." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends all call me Bubba
White smoke is coming out of my neighbor's house. He either elected a new Pope or he's got some good weed.