Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Handle123

    Handle123

    "Obama the Catholic Saint"

    On Saturday afternoon, in Washington, DC an aide to
    President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic
    cathedral in Washington.

    He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would
    be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal
    would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a
    few words that would include calling Obama a saint.

    The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like
    the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic
    Church over certain of Obama's views.

    Obama's aide then said, "Look, I'll write
    a check here and now for a donation of $10,000,000 to your
    church if you'll just tell the congregation you see
    Obama as a saint.

    The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the
    church can use the money, so I'll work your request into
    tomorrow's sermon.

    As Obama's aide promised, Obama appeared for the
    Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward
    left side of the center aisle.

    As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal
    pointed out that Obama was present.

    The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation,
    "While President Obama's presence is probably an
    honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal
    favorite personages. Some of his views are contrary to
    tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many
    other issues. Barack Obama is a petty, self-absorbed
    hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit.

    Barack Obama is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a
    thief. I must say, Barack Obama is the worst example of a
    Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is a
    narcissist and is using his speaking ability to lie to the
    American people.

    He also has a reputation for shirking his obligations,
    both In Washington and in Illinois. The man is simply not to
    be trusted.

    The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with
    Hillary Clinton, Obama is a Saint.
     
    #13831     Jan 4, 2017
  2. Handle123

    Handle123

    upload_2017-1-4_19-18-14.png
     
    #13832     Jan 4, 2017
  3. Handle123

    Handle123

    upload_2017-1-4_19-21-13.png
     
    #13833     Jan 4, 2017
  4. baro-san

    baro-san

    And this is how 98% of media will report the story:
    Obama the Catholic Saint"

    On Saturday afternoon, in Washington, DC an aide to President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in Washington.

    He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Obama a saint.

    The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Obama's views.

    Obama's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Obama as a saint.

    The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon.

    As Obama's aide promised, Obama appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle.

    As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Obama was present.

    The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While President Obama's presence is probably an honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of his views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Barack Obama is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit.

    Barack Obama is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Barack Obama is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is a narcissist and is using his speaking ability to lie to the American people.

    He also has a reputation for shirking his obligations, both In Washington and in Illinois. The man is simply not to be trusted.

    The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with Hillary Clinton, Obama is a Saint.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2017
    #13834     Jan 5, 2017
    Optionpro007 and Handle123 like this.
  5. Handle123

    Handle123

    upload_2017-1-6_9-20-45.png
     
    #13835     Jan 6, 2017
    baro-san and gwb-trading like this.
  6. Handle123

    Handle123


    I know you've been waiting ;


    for your 2017 Krispy Kreme
    Calendar ; AND HERE IT IS.
    ;

    upload_2017-1-6_9-24-38.png
     
    #13836     Jan 6, 2017
  7. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    #13837     Jan 6, 2017
  8. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading


    Where is the "OMG, I need my eye bleach" button.
     
    #13838     Jan 6, 2017
  9. Handle123

    Handle123

    Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said,"Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!"


    "Great Hillary, but how?" asked Bill.

    "We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."


    So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.


    The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"


    "Yes we are!" said Hillary, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color."

    They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

    A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.

    For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,

    Lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

    Finally, Hillary asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

    "Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there

    Running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever In here with two assholes!"
     
    #13839     Jan 7, 2017
  10. Handle123

    Handle123

    upload_2017-1-7_7-50-43.png
     
    #13840     Jan 7, 2017
    traderob likes this.