Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Handle123

    Handle123

    The photo below shows the amazing skills of makeup artists.
    WOW ! A bit of lipstick, a new hairdo and voila!
    A different person! . . . Well . . . Almost!


    upload_2016-10-3_21-37-41.png
     
    #13761     Oct 3, 2016
    gwb-trading and Humpy like this.
  2. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    One day, there were three Englishmen in an English bar, and they saw an Irishman sitting down drinking, and they decided to play a trick on him and the first Englishman said to the Irishman, “Did you know St. Patrick was a sissy?”

    The Irishman said, “No, I didn’t.” The first Englishman went back and told his friends it didn’t work.

    The second Englishman went up to the Irishman and said, “Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?”

    The Irishman said, “No, I didn’t.” The Englishman went back and told his friends it didn’t work.

    The third Englishman went to the Irishman and said, “Did you know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?

    The Irishman said, “No, I didn’t. But that’s what your friends were trying to tell me.”
     
    #13762     Oct 9, 2016
  3. fhl

    fhl

    "Go Redskins!" - Christopher Columbus, 1492.
     
    #13763     Oct 10, 2016
  4. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #13764     Oct 15, 2016
  5. Handle123

    Handle123

    [​IMG]
     
    #13765     Oct 16, 2016
    gwb-trading and traderob like this.
  6. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #13766     Oct 17, 2016
    newwurldmn and traderob like this.
  7. MCben

    MCben

    Forex money manager goes at the street and very nice young lady ask him:

    Lady: Dear sir, im making poll, can i ask you simple question?

    Manager: Of course you can.

    Lady: What is your average income?

    Manager: My average income is around 200 000 $.

    Lady: Im sorry, i thought your monthly income.

    Manager: Im sorry, i thought dayli.
     
    #13767     Oct 18, 2016
    Alexfx79 and Xela like this.
  8. upload_2016-10-18_20-19-18.png
     
    #13768     Oct 18, 2016
  9. fhl

    fhl

     
    #13769     Nov 3, 2016
  10. Humpy

    Humpy

    Funny how some of the points are too true o be dismissed

    To the citizens of the United States of America from
    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

    In light of your tendency to propose uncivilized
    people for public office who masquerade as the leader
    of the world, and thus your tendency to elect
    completely incompetent Presidents who then want to
    rule the world when you cannot govern yourselves, we
    hereby give notice of the revocation of your
    independence, effective immediately. (You should look
    up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)


    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
    monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and
    territories except Arkansas, which she does not fancy
    and will confine the Clintons to its borders to spare
    the rest of the world from their shenanigans including
    their pretend charity that launders money for their
    escapades.


    Your new Prime Minister, Theresa May, will appoint a
    Governor for America without the need for further
    elections since you cannot manage to select suitable
    candidates in any event. Furthermore, Congress and the
    Senate will be disbanded in a fortnight and given bus
    passes for the ride home, for their private jet
    privileges will be revoked. Given they do nothing
    anyhow other than raise taxes, I terribly doubt that
    any of you will notice the change.


    Whilst there will no longer be any need for any
    elections and your old slogan of “no taxation without
    representation” was a catchy phrase, your Congress
    never represented you anyway so that was a meaningless
    gesture with no substance confirming you are too
    foolish to govern yourselves no less the world. Your
    debt is beyond any capacity of being repaid and your
    politicians have no intention of ever paying off the
    debt anyway yet borrow year after year without
    explanation. Mr. Thomas Jefferson, who we tried to
    hang for treason but could not catch him to impose the
    king’s justice, was at least correct in saying that
    your debt forces people to be taxed for generations
    before and are thus subjected to “no taxation without
    representation” since they were not even alive.


    Since your election has put forth a criminal and a
    vulgarian, you leave me no choice but to revoke you
    independence and reassert our right to manage our
    former colony. This is the precedent of China with
    Tibet and Russia with Ukraine. Therefore, we are
    justified in this action forthwith given there is
    international precedence for this decree.
    You will learn to now say “God save the Queen.”



    Your Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II
    House of Windsor

    That's telling them from Little Dribbling :D
     
    #13770     Nov 5, 2016