This one takes the cake............ NEVER, NEVER, EVER(Actually always)Let the groom Order the wedding cake . . . . .
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor "We're getting granite counter tops."
BEST JOKE in GLOBAL COMPETITION An Israeli doctor says: "Medicine is so advanced in Israel that we can cut off a man's testicles put them on another man and in 6 weeks he is looking for work. The German doctor says: "That's nothing, In Germany we take part of a brain put it in another man and in 4 weeks he is looking for work." The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work." The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Seven years ago we took a Muslim with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole damn country is looking for work!" This joke actually won an award for the best joke in the world held in Britain !
For those who like a challenge, try this on for size! here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills... Can you meet this challenge? We've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time we've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you. 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15! PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15. To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too. Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it. ********************************************* I am so warped, had no trouble reading and rather fast as well. Matter of fact I think the faster you read it, more simple it is. I think when we read the brain sees beginning-length and end of words. Very much like chart patterns in my mind.