At The Doctor's After Joe's elaborate prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came in. As she shut the door, she spoke the 3 words that no man wants to hear: ... "Who was that?"
Sections of I-64 will be closed to traffic tomorrow. There will be closures tomorrow on Interstate Highway 64 across West Virginia, Kentucky and further west. A 200-ton lump of coal is being transported from a mine in western Virginia to Mount Rushmore National Memorial at Keystone, South Dakota, so that sculptors can add President Barack Obama to the memorial. This is very appropriate since President Obama has said that he believes himself to be the fourth greatest U.S. president, behind George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln, but greater than Theodore Roosevelt. Sculptors had to settle for coal because they were unable to locate a 200-ton piece of bullshit.
Staying Positive With all the negativity going on in the world today, it's nice that at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive. yea yea yea, I will go back in my cave.
Man rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear ' the rules ' From the female side Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. It is going to happen, let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket, baseball or motor sports. 1 . You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape ! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.